You spend hours crafting the perfect text message, adding an extra exclamation point, contemplating whether to use a smiley face or a winky face and rereading it ten times before hitting send.
You’ve waited the appropriate amount of time so you don’t sound too desperate or uninterested and your best friends gave you the okay. Now all you have to do is wait for his response.
You stare at your phone until it lights up, but the only new message you see is from Mom. So what went wrong? Compulsive talked to the guys to learn about the texts they dread receiving from girls. Listen to our texting advice and start being a smarter texter.
Don’t send this: “Heyyyyyy”
Extra letters are annoying and unnecessary; guys don’t like it when you’re constantly saying “hiii,” “What’s uppp?” or “Goodnightttt.” Tyler*, a recent grad of Oakland University, says, “stuff like heyyyyyyyyy is fine every once in a while with me, but when every text has extra letters that’s kind of annoying.”
Instead, send this: “How’s it going?” Guys don’t need extra letters to feel special (that’s a girl thing). You don’t want to sound whiny or overeager or like a middle school girl when texting him, so stick to spelling words with the normal amount of letters at least the majority of the time.
Don’t send this: “Where are you?” or “Do you want to see me?”
We’ve all been in that awkward situation when we text a guy and don’t get a reply and then text him again and still hear nothing. Usually, we send the forbidden double text when we’re drinking and then wake up and regret it in the morning. This is probably the worst texting crime you can commit.
No matter how hard it is, resist the urge to double-text if you haven’t heard from him right away. I’ve had some girls who are too annoying,” says Jordan*, a Macomb Community College senior, “and if you don’t answer them they blow you up with 3-4 texts in a row without me answering and it’s weird.”
Instead, send this: Nothing. Texting is a back-and-forth form of communication. If you sent the last text, wait until he responds before sending another. Guys like the chase, so sit back, relax and make him text you. It can be tempting to send a double text when the last thing said didn’t really require a response on his end. If he’s interested, he will start a new topic and will want to text you back.
Don’t send this: “LOL” or “LMAO”
Elijah*, a University of Michigan junior, hates when girls send little “LOL” or “LMAO” texts in the middle of a conversation because he doesn’t know what to text next. Just as much as you don’t like the awkward pauses in a flirtatious text exchange, he doesn’t either. You could actually think what he said was funny or you could just be using it as a filler, kind of like “um and like” when you’re talking.
Instead, send this: “You’re too funny ;)”. You want to keep the conversation going so say something that shows more interest than a random “LOL or “LMAO”. When replying to a guy’s text, imagine how you would reply in person. I doubt you would stand there and laugh out loud without saying something. Try sending a flirty response that expresses that you’re into him (and think he’s funny) will boost his confidence.
Don’t send this: “K.”
Adam*, a University of Michigan junior, says, “K is the worst because it just comes across as mean.” Hazim, a Michigan State University senior, agrees that one-word answers like “k” or “whatever” are the worst. “You don’t know whether the girl is happy or mad,” he says. Although you might be sincere, your one-word answer doesn’t show any enthusiasm about the conversation. A simple “k” can come off as rude and uninterested.
Instead, send this: “Cool, that sounds good to me!”. Show him you are actually interested in what he has to say by replying with a sentence. If you can type 140 characters on Twitter, you can do it in a text message too. Your response is likely to set the tone for the rest of the conversation, so if you want him to keep texting you, you need to put in more effort than “k.”
Don’t send this: “Why haven’t you responded???”
This is a terrible form of the double text and a pet peeve to guys. You’ve probably gone through a hundred reasons why he hasn’t responded, but still want to hear it straight from him. “The most desperate or clingy texts are when she asks why you haven't responded. I could be busy and not have had time to respond and that text just annoys me,” says Conor*, a University of Michigan senior. Tyler says he can’t stand it when he gets a “???” text if he hasn’t responded within an hour. Imagine if you got a text with multiple question marks. How would you respond?
Instead, send this: Nothing. Just because he doesn’t respond doesn’t mean the world is going to end. He was probably having tea with his grandmother, pumping iron at the gym, or singing in the church choir. Don’t always think if it’s been over 30 minutes it means he doesn’t like you. Although it is possible he really doesn’t want to talk to you, don’t make things worse by asking him why he hasn’t responded. If he hasn’t texted you back within a few days, you can send him another text. But if this time you still don’t hear from him, save yourself the misery and just delete his number.
Avoid these 5 texting crimes and start being a more confident and savvy texter. When you’re a little more subtle about feelings, you’ll be surprised to see that your texting conversations will move beyond the simple, “Hey, what’s up” “Nothing. You?” Think about each text and consult our guide before hitting send.