How to navigate difficult challenges to make the most of new beginnings.
Expert Cindy Stibbard, CDC Certified Divorce Coach and Specialist, sat with Compulsive Magazine to discuss the easiest ways to get through a divorce and what mistakes to avoid. Cindy describes getting a divorce like a marriage.
She stated when getting married you hire a wedding planner to help you through the process. This is the same with a divorce, you should hire a divorce coach. “If you’re going to put all of that energy into tying the knot, put the same energy in untying it,” she explained.
Cindy calls it the D-word since no one really wants to discuss it, but the most important part she says is to educate yourself. She believes it doesn’t have to be as tumultuous as everyone makes it.
“When we know better, we do better. If you want the best outcome, get informed, get educated and get a coach that can help you through the process.”
With the holidays coming up being involved in the divorce process can be very hard on families so Cindy provided great advice especially for families with children. Maintain stability by continuing some traditions for the sake of the kids. Share the time as much as possible even if you hate each other because Christmas is not about you but the kids.
Also, create new traditions. For example, instead of eating at the dinner table go to a sporting event or do activities together.
Top Five Divorce Mistakes to Avoid
Throwing in the towel too soon/giving up: You don’t want to look back a year from now and wish you could’ve held on a little longer
Avoid betting everything on another relationship: The new relationship isn’t guaranteed.
Taking too much advice from family and friends: They can be supportive but sometimes the worse advice can be given because they are not in your relationship, they are also emotionally affected by it and sometimes it’s a projection from someone else’s own failed marriage
Putting everything in your lawyers’ hands: Lawyers will make decisions that the client never spoke to them about
Don’t let your emotions make all your decisions: Sometimes our emotions can make the wrong decisions
Cindy Stibbard’s recipe for divorce includes a good portion of compassion for the love you once had with a spread of positive memories instead of the negative ones. She jokingly adds “a daily dose of a Martini.” #divorceredefined